Anger Management

"You will find yourself becoming so angry at one point or another that you will seriously test your limitations of self-control. Control it."

I say these words to myself all the time. The sheer frustration is almost palpable. I've never experienced this before. Often times we get angry, frustrated, annoyed, call it what you will but these are about events that, in the grand scheme of things, really don't matter much. Usually, there's a beginning and an end to whatever it was that made us angry. But when it comes to your children it's a whole different ball game. It can go on every day, day in, day out.

I really don't think that women appreciate what it feels like for a man to be removed from his children's lives. I use the word 'removed' in a particular way. I take full responsibility for any and all of my actions that led to the divorce and the obvious separation that brings in the family. I never expected to continue to live together as a couple and neither did I expect to be involved in my children's lives as I was while we were married. But, there is still a feeling of removal in the sense that I would desperately prefer to have more access to them but the right (if you can call it that) has been removed from me. More to the point, my children's rights have been removed.

I was reading an article the other day about Fathers 4 Justice. They've just started here in the US after a rather eventful past few years in the UK. The founder is best known for dressing up as Batman (He usually has an accomplice, dressed as Robin) and then making some kind of very public protest. To launch their US operation he, along with 'Robin' scaled the Lincoln Memorial. Here's a video http://www.f4j.us/uploads/media/20070817.wmv

One can argue the merits of such a public spectacle but one thing is for sure, they get noticed. Their stories are read and it's one way of releasing the frustration without getting angry with your ex. Getting angry rarely works in any situation. Anger is a survival instinct, not a louder way to negotiate. Putting the anger to work in a positive way is always the best option so I think I'll add this to the rest of the words I repeat to myself whenever I start to boil from the inside.