I fought the law and she won

Call me crazy but I always though that parents were 50/50 in their responsibilities to their children. More to the point, the children have the right to not be denied access to their parents and should be allowed 50/50 access to each parent.

Of course, this is utopia. Being pragmatic, there's always a set of circumstances that would require this 50/50 theory to be flexed. The question isn't where you finish in deciding how much these rights should be flexed, it's a question of where you start.

In the event that parents can't agree on visitation, the judge will decide. The minimum that a judge will often award is ever other weekend and one night, often a Wednesday, each week. In my case, this is exactly what was ordered. Wednesday from 4pm - 7pm and every other weekend from 4pm Friday through 6pm Sunday. This is the starting point. To get any more than this you have to laying down a mountain of proof normally geared to showing why the mother should have them less. This is never a positive spin on the mother. So, how do you get them for longer? How do you ensure that your children's rights to see you and have you in their life as much as is practical? You have two options: The first is to ask the mother for extra time with the children. In my case this has always been refused. The second is to take her back to court and ask for an amended visitation schedule. Good luck with this one.

What I found during this process is that if you are relying on the legal system to bring justice to an unjust situation then forget about it. It's a circus of performers. The lawyers, the judges, they're all the same. They know that long after you have gone on to pick up the pieces of your life they'll be representing some other guy and dealing with the same judges and the same lawyers. They don't care about their clients - what they care about is a) getting paid lots of money b) stirring up enough bitterness to ensure that the battle continues (meaning more money) and c) making sure they maintain a good relationship with the other lawyers (often the one representing your spouse) and the judge.