In the best interests of the children

What exactly does this mean?

"In the best interests of the children."

By definition, one would think that it means that the right course of action is that which will have the most benefit for the children even if it means that one parent isn't getting their own way. Given path A or path B, the path to take shall be the one that is the right one considering all the information we have at this time and what we know about the children.

But it really doesn't mean this at all. What it really means is, "If I don't agree with you, then I will use the children as a means to justify my disagreement". It also means, "If I want something and you're not prepared to give it to me, I will use the children as a means to make you feel guilty".

If I have heard this once from my ex-wife I have heard it 1000 times.

I wanted to take the girls out one Tuesday night to dinner with some friends. I'd have them back by 7.30pm. "Not in their best interest", said she. "They need regular routine and the court said you only have them on a Wednesday. The following week, she had to go away on business. "Can you have them this Monday?". What about there routine? In their best interests is anything that is convenient for her.

The hard part in writing this blog is to not sound like some moaning old sod, cynical, pissed off, and just looking for a place to rant. They say that misery loves company, I'm not miserable and I am not looking for other miserable, pissed off, cynical people to have a big group moan with but there are times when you become so exasperated with the double standards that have your children treated like pawns.