The Anger Mirror

Anger towards another person is so very often anger that we have with ourselves but just directed at another so that we can make sense of it all.

I'm convinced that most of the anger and bitterness that my ex has towards me is really just anger with herself. She and I spent years in a loveless relationship and the only thing keeping her in it, in my opinion, was that the timing wasn't right. She stayed in with the view that she could get out when the kids started school and she could go get a job. The job she thought she'd take is very different from the one she ended up with. In other words, she actually has to go to work with this one.

She ended up with much less than she thought she was going to get. She must have been fuming on the day that she found out just exactly how much it would be that she'd be leaving the marriage with. Suffice to say, she surely thought that sticking in it didn't pay off.

I feel really sorry for her occasionally. Here's a woman that effectively prostituted herself (except there was no sex involved) so that she could time it right, get out, take a boat load of cash, and then get a cushy job to fill in the gaps. It didn't work out for her so she must be looking at me as the John that ran out on her.

She looks through the anger mirror, it's one way, and hopefully one day her reflection will bounce back and hit her in the face. Maybe at that time she'll stop blaming me and being angry with me for her decision to hang on in there.