I took the advice to stay away from other women, not date, don't get involved, etc. with somewhat of a pinch of salt. What harm would it do to dip my toe back in the water? After all, I've spent most of my adult life in a relationship - it's what I know, it's what I like, it's what I am comfortable with.
But now I can see the point. Don't get me wrong, I am in love with a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman, but there is now this feeling of wanting to just do my own thing when I want to do it. I've become conditioned to always ensuring that what I did was okay with someone else and this past year or so has shown me the occasional glimpse of what it's like to have complete free will to do whatever, whenever, wherever, and with whomever... it feels good!! And it's a time I don't want to miss out on.
If you're newly separated you need time to get back to normal. Everything has been upside down in my life for the past few years and it's only right about now can I say that I'm beginning to lose the numb feeling. Take time for yourself - don't rush back in.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
For Sale: Two children
Beena while since I posted. Not much of a diary this once a month lark. The good news is that if I'm not posting then the chances are that life is back to smooth sailing. But like any sea, that's temporary and the waves will crash again.
Last week we were back in court. Thankfully, this nightmare is now over and I am divorced. I took the ex back to court because she wouldn't agree to give permission for the children to leave the country on vacation with me. Even with the constant requests from the children for her to let them go she was a brick wall.
"I have my reasons", said she. "Please tell me then", said I. "I'd rather not", says she. And the music continues to play, and the dancers continue to dance. She managed to drag this on enough over summer to ensure that they missed their chance while they had it to go.
The day before the court date we (my lawyer and I) received word that she would allow the children to go to Europe with no strings attached. Except, there was the little matter over some disputed property amounting to a value of around $20,000. She wanted it. I refused to allow her to have it and, surprise surprise, we couldn't get an agreement from them to this 'no strings attached' deal. We went to court the next day and it was looking like 50/50 odds whether I'd win the day on the property issue and the chances are that if I lost I'd be stuck with her legal bill. So, they offered the deal again, bit better, we spilt the property and I get the kids.
So, there we have it. I thanked her lawyer for the offer asked how he manages to sleep at night knowing that he is a peddlar of children. He asked me to be not so rude and I obviously apologized. My mistake - I confused selling and exploitation. I confused the roles. My wife was selling the children; the lawyer was creating the framework for the exploitation. I asked how they could object and link the children to this kind of transaction but they were, for a change, quite silent.
I took the deal.
I could care less about money and property when it relates to the hopes, desires, and dreams of my children. To throw the children into a pot along with everything else created by a marriage is nothing short of disgusting. I wrote my ex an email that day to mark the moment of this new low. I had no point other than to create a record of the day that she put a sticker price on each of the children and took home her pieces of silver. She doesn't have blood on her hands, but she has the tears of small children that wanted to go away with me and couldn't.
Her point often was that the timing wasn't right. To this end she was spot on. The timing was too soon and giving the kids their rights simply didn't fit in with her legal strategy.
Shame on you. And shame on anyone that ever toys with the lives of their children to support whatever notion of fairness lies inside your brain.
Last week we were back in court. Thankfully, this nightmare is now over and I am divorced. I took the ex back to court because she wouldn't agree to give permission for the children to leave the country on vacation with me. Even with the constant requests from the children for her to let them go she was a brick wall.
"I have my reasons", said she. "Please tell me then", said I. "I'd rather not", says she. And the music continues to play, and the dancers continue to dance. She managed to drag this on enough over summer to ensure that they missed their chance while they had it to go.
The day before the court date we (my lawyer and I) received word that she would allow the children to go to Europe with no strings attached. Except, there was the little matter over some disputed property amounting to a value of around $20,000. She wanted it. I refused to allow her to have it and, surprise surprise, we couldn't get an agreement from them to this 'no strings attached' deal. We went to court the next day and it was looking like 50/50 odds whether I'd win the day on the property issue and the chances are that if I lost I'd be stuck with her legal bill. So, they offered the deal again, bit better, we spilt the property and I get the kids.
So, there we have it. I thanked her lawyer for the offer asked how he manages to sleep at night knowing that he is a peddlar of children. He asked me to be not so rude and I obviously apologized. My mistake - I confused selling and exploitation. I confused the roles. My wife was selling the children; the lawyer was creating the framework for the exploitation. I asked how they could object and link the children to this kind of transaction but they were, for a change, quite silent.
I took the deal.
I could care less about money and property when it relates to the hopes, desires, and dreams of my children. To throw the children into a pot along with everything else created by a marriage is nothing short of disgusting. I wrote my ex an email that day to mark the moment of this new low. I had no point other than to create a record of the day that she put a sticker price on each of the children and took home her pieces of silver. She doesn't have blood on her hands, but she has the tears of small children that wanted to go away with me and couldn't.
Her point often was that the timing wasn't right. To this end she was spot on. The timing was too soon and giving the kids their rights simply didn't fit in with her legal strategy.
Shame on you. And shame on anyone that ever toys with the lives of their children to support whatever notion of fairness lies inside your brain.
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